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    inspired choice?

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  • What is it About Hope?!?

    I have found lately that HOPE is palpable.

    What is it? Why is it such a strong force?

    How does it show up in our lives?

    I can only speak to my realizations and those of some of my clients and friends but really… I picked up the newspaper today and I saw hope.

    The kid who turned away from school and later became a rapper teacher is now helping millions of kids rap-learn subjects that were previously unreachable, and they are loving it!

    Saturday, The New York Times August 24, 2024. “His Alter Ego Is Excited About Education”

    I see movies like “Inside Out” and “Inside Out 2” that help explain to even our youngest citizens what in the world goes on in our emotional lives and a few ways to get it under control. Yahoo!

    Sunday, The New York Times, August 11, 2024 “How Pixar Helped Change Therapy”

    I see and hear people shifting their consciousness from desperation and divisiveness born out of fear to hope and a belief in the possibility that comes with naming what is good in all of us and working together to fix what isn’t.

    Because of hope.

    No matter what the personal belief system is, hope allows us all to find something good and true.

    I hate to belabor the COVID experience but mine interested me because it was like having a dark cloud hanging over me for a while.

    It seems like a dark cloud has been hanging over our society for a while.

    What I noticed when it began to lift was that I hadn’t known just how gloomy it was. It was like having a gray filter in front of my eyes and then suddenly it cleared. I could see the sun.

    It felt that way today as I listened to people speaking, read the newspaper, and saw a different bounce in people’s steps.

    A new energy seems to be taking hold in people’s interest and participation in our country.

    Hope.

    I’m glad the fog is lifting enough to see some sunlight. Hope is a great energizer.

    If you want to explore how to accelerate your hope let’s talk! Click here to schedule a call!

    What the heck?

    Where did that feeling come from???

    I came down with COVID last week.

    I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise as it appears to be on the loose again.

    The surprise was remembering the tricky emotional part of COVID-19.

    Feelings.

    Does anyone remember that?

    After a couple of days of feeling poorly and beginning to slowly feel a bit better… all of a sudden, I noticed that I was paying a lot more attention to the nuances of what people said or didn’t say; if they were in touch or not in touch; mulling over a situation and starting to think about it differently.

    Oversensitivity or over-focus.

    Making things personal that weren’t personal at all.

    The truth is all of it was imagined.

    It was all a story my imagination concocted.

    I began to question these innocuous situations from an emotionally negative or over-sensitive standpoint.

    What snapped me out of it?

    • I stepped back and looked at the data
    • I noticed that how I felt made no sense
    • I realized how easily it would have been for me to get totally sucked into how I was feeling.

    I refocused. But even knowing all that didn’t work entirely.

    It persisted. So, I talked with a good friend and said I believed I was going through the COVID emotion phase and checked out a feeling I was having.

    It was based on nothing.

    Except that there SEEMED to be enough of a potential something to feed the thought beast.

    Fortunately, I checked it out and trusted reality rather than the sticky thought/feeling stuff leading me astray.

    How often do we all let our thoughts run away with us? Even without COVID-19?

    An idea bubbles up, we don’t check it out and then it becomes a “thing”.

    Then if we are lucky, we do check it out, but often people don’t.

    Suddenly there’s a problem where there wasn’t one and no one is talking about it.

    I am so glad I gave myself a taste of my own teaching and stepped back, evaluated, and followed through. It was such an important reminder that being curious about a feeling is more important than buying it hook line and sinker.

    That’s why I created both my Enlightened Communication Through Luminous Living® course and my Divorce Well and Thrive® Coaching program. Communication is key.

    Let’s have some fun together finding the best way to have tough conversations or any conversation that means something to you. Those are the tricky ones.

    Click here to hop on a call so you can feel like this going into every conversation.

    With love,

    Liz

    It’s Official

     

    It’s official! The equinox has helped us cross the threshold into Spring. 

    Let’s send up new shoots. Get rid of the old dried-up leaves and twigs. Open a fresh eye on the world. Let the still small voice that knows there is something emerging get a bit louder.

    All of us feel a bit dug under sometimes. The world has been a chaotic place at times and then a turn of the head or a new fresh day brings order, new hope or even a monumental change in point of view.

    It’s time to clear out, refresh, take a look at what isn’t feeling right and tweak it until it does. 

    I’ve been struck by the resilience I’ve been witnessing in all parts of the world. We are amazing. Every one of us. 

    Recently I made a major move, healed from a serious illness, and continued stepping forward on the journey…  being present and ready for what’s next. 

    I believe all of us are making our way. We step over rocks, climb bigger mountains, and take our next steps. If we are paying attention, we create meaning.  

    Times of seasonal transition are perfect to take a fresh look. Yesterday I cleared a bunch of dead plants away and cut back the ones that could be saved.  Suddenly there was possibility of new life. I love to see that shift and recognize that we are the shift. We just have to pay attention. 

    That’s when I take a fresh look at what is happening in my life, what is happening around me, where I’m putting my focus and why.

    We are multifaceted beings, so underlying the activities we are doing are the thoughts and feelings we have about them. 

    Here are a few questions to get the ball rolling:

    • What do the (activities) mean to us? 
    • What importance do they hold in our lives? 
    • What are the benefits or the drawbacks? 
    • Are they essential or can they be removed?

    Sometimes it is good to sort out where we are putting our attention. Sometimes what’s important is to stop a moment and breathe.

    Take stock of all that is happening; what you are feeling emotionally and physically; what you are thinking… and see if there is a need for a different point of view or a different course of action with whatever is in the forefront of your days.

    Often, a change in focus opens up a completely different feeling about what comes next. 

    Spring is the ideal time to take the next step to accelerate YOUR next step.

    Choose the inspired life you want to live.

    Click here for a guided imagery to take a moment of pause to imagine your next steps. 

     

    That Crazy Gratitude

    It’s Thanksgiving. Yes, a time on the calendar we can depend on. A time that reminds us that we are still here living our lives, even if everything feels topsy turvy, stressful or downright scary at times. We are all looking for some peace, a bit of joy, a way to feel into this new normal while folks are waiting to get back to normal.

    It’s hard to say what back to normal will look like but what we can say is how amazingly resilient we humans are. Imagine being able to find simple things, people, products, even time, to be grateful for. Gratitude is the way forward. I was blown away when I restarted my gratitude mornings how much each day became lighter. How positive I could be in the face of frightening or disappointing news. How centered I could become by simply recognizing the beauty of a flower, a kind gesture, a great meal, a dear friend.

    Here are some tips to find the spark of gratitude in your life:

      1. Wake up and say “I am grateful for my new day” a sentence filled with possibility.
      2. If you are in a relationship, notice that person’s presence as a gift in your life. It’s easy to notice the annoyances but what do they bring to your life?
      3. Notice where you are putting your attention. If there is a situation that is bothersome, or troubling find the good in it and find a way to take action to change the rest. (One step at a time if it’s a big one)
      4. Declare your intention for having a great day.
      5. Thank someone in your life or in your day, for something.
      6. Give! Tell someone you care, give a compliment, send flowers, be love and you will feel grateful you made someone else’s day.
      7. Make a list of 3 things you are grateful for each morning and notice the bounty you may have missed.
      8. Thank a good friend or special family member for being in your life.

     

    Happiest Thanksgiving to all.  May you spend it in a way that brings you peace and joy.

    With love,

    Liz

    Whose Voice Is It Anyway?

    I was so lucky when my friend Dave said “Who says you’re not good enough?!?”

    That was many years ago. Needless to say, our conversation blew my mind. He was actually asking who I was listening to in my head and questioning whether it was really my voice!
    I had never thought it wasn’t my voice. After all, it was in my head.

    I had been complaining about a work situation, my social life, etc. But really my situation was fine. It was how I was feeling about it, and what I was believing about both the situation and myself that was the problem. “Not good enough.” “Not Good Enough.” “NOT GOOD ENOUGH!”

    Those words—in their varying intensities at various moments—were affecting my life. Those words… not good enough… created other unhelpful thoughts as well. I would struggle with something I knew I was fully capable of doing but feeling I couldn’t do. I would express doubt and need good friends to help me see myself accurately, or I would give myself a good talking to so that I could proceed.

    What a struggle! Where did this contradiction come from?

    It was so exciting to imagine—and then recognize—that what I believed was my own internal voice was actually one that I co-opted from teachers, parents, or disheartening situations. The self-criticism came from messages I received growing up.

    Why is it easier to hold on to the negative messages than the positive?

    My experience as a psychotherapist and coach is that we tend to feel the impact of negative messages more deeply because they often catch us off guard or conflict with our self-perception. Unconsciously, we internalize these negative inputs more than we should.

    That was what I had been doing. That self-talk had become a habit and a belief system. It was so incredibly freeing to realize that I could evaluate each of those questionable thoughts.

    First, I became curious about when and where I had heard that message. Then I began to evaluate and decide whether I agreed with the message.

    That gave me the agency to choose! Did I believe it? Was the thought really true? Did the negative message evolve over time? Was it a real representation of the real me? If not, I wasn’t born with it. Did I want that message to be mine?

    Mostly, that negative talk is not true. It comes from hurt, unkind words, and moments when we have not been at our best. If you aren’t happy with some of the self-talk/self-doubt/self-critical messages that you are experiencing, try to be a detective and begin choosing which messages to listen to. Sometimes it helps to talk to a good friend, or a professional (like a life coach or a therapist) to sort it out if you get stuck.

    Bottom line: The time has come to choose. Choose to allow you to be you – fully and freely -without restriction!

    Have a comment or a question? I would love to hear your thoughts!

    In the meantime, choose you!

    Liz