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inspired choice?

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  • Ready to make an
    inspired choice?

    Get my FREE guided meditation
    and start your journey.

    Go!
  • How to Make an Inspired Choice

    So many people have experienced change over the past year – myself included. From scary medical procedures to moving cities. So how do we all remain resilient in the midst of major upheaval whether it is personal, familial, governmental, or cultural?

    For me, and what I teach all my clients – coaching, psychotherapy, and corporate – is that when we begin to feel like a leaf in the wind, we are sunk. That’s not the good part, the meaty part. That is the human condition. So, what to do about it? Here’s a tip that is part of my QPT® (Quantum Presence Technique) process and is a quick way to get centered.

    1. Breathe and put your attention on your feet.

    That’s what I do, and that’s what I teach because it’s impossible to handle any stress, big or small, if you are not present in your body. Putting your attention on your feet and breathing is a shortcut to getting back to home base- You, your own body.

    Emotion follows thought.

    Have you ever noticed that when you have a seed, just a little seed of information that is or could be true, suddenly the brain is off and running with a story about it? Depending on your inclination that could be scary or wonderful. Either way, it is just a story.

    It is not true because it has not happened. You notice I didn’t say “happened yet”. That’s because there is no yet under these circumstances. We actually have no idea what is going to happen.

    When we are present in our bodies, we are not being run wild by our thoughts and the emotions that follow our storyline. We can actually make a clear choice about who we are and what we want to choose to feel and do in the moment.

    2. Make an Inspired Choice

    What makes an inspired choice? The first is step is # 1 above. When you are experiencing presence, full embodiment, you are connected mind, body, spirit, and heart. You realize that you are safe in this moment and that you have come into your body fully with your attention and your breath. You may have a sense of solidity, of feeling grounded, connected to the earth. It comes from having made the decision to be still and notice that gravity is holding you steady. Your intention is all you need to experience the pause that allows you to make choices from your true self, unimpaired by extraneous thoughts.

    From this position you can activate the ‘you’ ‘you know is there. The ‘you’ that is not a leaf in the wind. The ‘you’ that you can depend on. It is the same ‘you’ that you’ve depended on when making important decisions, helping someone in crises. All aspects of you working together to take your next step. That is how an inspired choice is made.

    Try it. Let me know what happens. Is there more to this? Of course, but this is a great place to start.

    For a bit more guidance, click the video below:

    That Crazy Gratitude

    It’s Thanksgiving. Yes, a time on the calendar we can depend on. A time that reminds us that we are still here living our lives, even if everything feels topsy turvy, stressful or downright scary at times. We are all looking for some peace, a bit of joy, a way to feel into this new normal while folks are waiting to get back to normal.

    It’s hard to say what back to normal will look like but what we can say is how amazingly resilient we humans are. Imagine being able to find simple things, people, products, even time, to be grateful for. Gratitude is the way forward. I was blown away when I restarted my gratitude mornings how much each day became lighter. How positive I could be in the face of frightening or disappointing news. How centered I could become by simply recognizing the beauty of a flower, a kind gesture, a great meal, a dear friend.

    Here are some tips to find the spark of gratitude in your life:

      1. Wake up and say “I am grateful for my new day” a sentence filled with possibility.
      2. If you are in a relationship, notice that person’s presence as a gift in your life. It’s easy to notice the annoyances but what do they bring to your life?
      3. Notice where you are putting your attention. If there is a situation that is bothersome, or troubling find the good in it and find a way to take action to change the rest. (One step at a time if it’s a big one)
      4. Declare your intention for having a great day.
      5. Thank someone in your life or in your day, for something.
      6. Give! Tell someone you care, give a compliment, send flowers, be love and you will feel grateful you made someone else’s day.
      7. Make a list of 3 things you are grateful for each morning and notice the bounty you may have missed.
      8. Thank a good friend or special family member for being in your life.

     

    Happiest Thanksgiving to all.  May you spend it in a way that brings you peace and joy.

    With love,

    Liz

    Whose Voice Is It Anyway?

    I was so lucky when my friend Dave said “Who says you’re not good enough?!?”

    That was many years ago. Needless to say, our conversation blew my mind. He was actually asking who I was listening to in my head and questioning whether it was really my voice!
    I had never thought it wasn’t my voice. After all, it was in my head.

    I had been complaining about a work situation, my social life, etc. But really my situation was fine. It was how I was feeling about it, and what I was believing about both the situation and myself that was the problem. “Not good enough.” “Not Good Enough.” “NOT GOOD ENOUGH!”

    Those words—in their varying intensities at various moments—were affecting my life. Those words… not good enough… created other unhelpful thoughts as well. I would struggle with something I knew I was fully capable of doing but feeling I couldn’t do. I would express doubt and need good friends to help me see myself accurately, or I would give myself a good talking to so that I could proceed.

    What a struggle! Where did this contradiction come from?

    It was so exciting to imagine—and then recognize—that what I believed was my own internal voice was actually one that I co-opted from teachers, parents, or disheartening situations. The self-criticism came from messages I received growing up.

    Why is it easier to hold on to the negative messages than the positive?

    My experience as a psychotherapist and coach is that we tend to feel the impact of negative messages more deeply because they often catch us off guard or conflict with our self-perception. Unconsciously, we internalize these negative inputs more than we should.

    That was what I had been doing. That self-talk had become a habit and a belief system. It was so incredibly freeing to realize that I could evaluate each of those questionable thoughts.

    First, I became curious about when and where I had heard that message. Then I began to evaluate and decide whether I agreed with the message.

    That gave me the agency to choose! Did I believe it? Was the thought really true? Did the negative message evolve over time? Was it a real representation of the real me? If not, I wasn’t born with it. Did I want that message to be mine?

    Mostly, that negative talk is not true. It comes from hurt, unkind words, and moments when we have not been at our best. If you aren’t happy with some of the self-talk/self-doubt/self-critical messages that you are experiencing, try to be a detective and begin choosing which messages to listen to. Sometimes it helps to talk to a good friend, or a professional (like a life coach or a therapist) to sort it out if you get stuck.

    Bottom line: The time has come to choose. Choose to allow you to be you – fully and freely -without restriction!

    Have a comment or a question? I would love to hear your thoughts!

    In the meantime, choose you!

    Liz

    It’s Election Day Let’s Stay Centered

    I get a lot of emails. I delete a lot of emails, but this morning I woke up super early. Since I don’t usually wake up at 4am, I felt like something important was needed. So, first thing, I meditated with the intention of being a participant in creating balance in myself, humanity and our beautiful planet.

    I opened my email and there was a newsletter from Nick Ortner’s The Tapping Solution. I didn’t delete.

    He spoke about the fact that some percentage of the US population will be disappointed, once the tally is eventually in on who the next United States president will be.

    Along with using our one vote to assist in the evolution of our country, he spoke about the fact that we have  only one vote for ourselves as well. He shared an uplifting video about how to have clarity on what you want to manifest in your life and for the greater good. I was interested in what inspired him  and I am sharing the link below in case you are too.

    How we go forward with elation or disappointment depends on us.

    We can stay centered if we are careful about where we put our attention.

    I love testing this out. If I am feeling stressed or focused on something worrisome, when I put my attention on what I actually can do instead of what I don’t have control over I feel better. Even feeling down can be shifted if we decide to focus on what we are grateful for…even just one thing. It could be as simple as a tree outside the window.

    Staying present in the moment, breathing deeply, meditating or using a meditation APP, getting outside for a walk, are all great ways to get centered and feel uplifted.

    But sometimes it’s really hard to shift the way we feel. Especially if it’s on the negative side.

    I have found tapping to be super helpful in shifting perspective in the moment and in the long term if you make it part of your routine. Melanie Moore in the UK who specializes in EFT-Tapping has shared several videos to guide people through tough times. These can be a resource to handle emotions that come up during these unpredictable times.

    So, after you vote, feel proud to have made your voice heard!

    And then feed your soul with an inspirational video of your choice.

    See what inspires Nick Ortner by clicking here.

    He also offers Tapping 101 in case you’ve never tapped before, click here to access Tapping 101.

    Tap along with Melanie Moore:

    Click here on feeling worried or desperate.

    Click here on feeling isolated (COVID related).

    Click here on creating a great day.

    With love,
    Liz

    COVID Loneliness-An Unexpected Challenge

    Loneliness during COVID-19 has become an unexpected challenge for many. Even if loneliness was never previously a concern  for people surrounded by friends and family, or  for people who have lived alone for years without discomfort, it seems to be one now.

    I’ve been speaking with clients, friends, and family and have even experienced it myself. There is a difference between simple aloneness and COVID-19 loneliness.

    What is this about? Why is it different?

    Some say it is the unknown. The uncertainty about when things will get back to normal can cause feelings of disconnection. Some say it’s about how they personally are handling the experience. For example, some have said they simply feel left out because they’re being more cautious. Some report they haven’t reached out enough and that’s why they’re alone more than they want to be.

    The feeling of loneliness is difficult because often it can seem like nothing really helps — or only helps for a bit. For example, talking with a friend is uplifting in the moment but the relief doesn’t always last.

    What tends to have a longer loneliness-reducing effect are activities like taking a walk outside, which can truly shift our mood if we take in our surroundings and breathe in the fresh air; or working on a forward-moving project like de-cluttering, which shifts us into an active state, which is super helpful, because it gets us doing rather than moping.

    What’s also different about COVID-19 loneliness is that there’s not only a sense of separation, but actual separation — and that real separation from others can really amp up feelings of loneliness.

    Groups that used to get together in person may still do so but more infrequently on Zoom, and, given what is required to go out into the world, many people now simply find it easier to stay in.

    In short, it’s the complexity of sustaining contact with others, combined with the fact that it’s so difficult to be spontaneous and spur-of-the-moment, that makes COVID-19 loneliness so different.

    Here are a few tips that may help you or someone you know feel more connected:

    1. Respect for how people are managing their safety during COVID-19 is a top priority but communication is the key. So, don’t assume what someone else’s COVID-19 contact rules are and rule them out of an invitation to a group get-together. Check it out with them. Their rules may have changed, or they may have found a way to feel safe and still participate that is mutually respectful of you and your other guests.
    2. If you tend to invite-only couples or only singles to certain get-togethers, consider mixing it up. Your single friends may appreciate an evening or afternoon invite during this time even if everyone else is coupled up, and couples may enjoy a break from the couples-only get-togethers they are likely typically invited to attend.
    3. Don’t assume that all your friends or relations are doing fine because you haven’t heard from them. Reach out. Find out what they are up to. Maybe they’ve discovered some fun COVID-19 safe activity, or maybe they could really benefit from a conversation pick-me-up right now.
    4. Send friends, family members, and/or associates you haven’t reached out to for a while something that lets them know you’re thinking about them — getting flowers, an ecard, or even a voice memo can literally make someone’s day and keep them uplifted for longer than you might imagine.
    5. Invite your friends and perhaps their whole family out for a hike, paddle, or other active outings. Creating shared memories through these types of experiences feeds our connective tissue.
    6. If you’re feeling isolated, get involved in safe volunteer activities or with community action groups. The added benefit is the consistency of contact with others these types of opportunities naturally provide.



    Giving of ourselves is the most enriching way to feel we are part of a greater whole. And you never know- you might just change someone’s life.